Tag Archives: models

Embracing The Stupid Of Tomorrow

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-I don’t like to brag, but I beat a deaf, blind kid at pinball once.

-I’m not for certain, but I’m pretty sure that a Native American breaking into your room and setting your novelty dreamcatcher on fire and then peeing on it to put out the fire is not a good sign.

-If you didn’t know the definition, you might think that someone calling you a “sexist” was actually a pretty awesome compliment.

-It’s the differences between us that keep us sane.

-I really hope I die on one of my days off. I’d really hate to spend a whole day at work only to bite the dirt on my way home. What a waste of a day that would be.

-On an application for a job or school or anything really, it’s never a good idea to put “freelance gynecologist” in the Hobbies/Other Interests section.

-I met a guy named Ted D. Bear today. I told him it was unfortunate that his parents hate him that much, but at least they didn’t name him Snuggles or Yogi.

-Everything should be judged and rated by a 5-star peer review system. Online dating networks could rate each candidate by their past performances, underwear at Victoria’s Secret sorted by a 5-star rating of sexiest to least sexy, or dogs at the kennel rated least likely to tear your entire house apart.

-Pro tip: If the shoe doesn’t fit, it’s probably not your damn shoe.

-I discovered the best rap song lyrics ever: “Got a one track mind / Gotta, gotta, gotta get dat behind. / Booty booty, fresh and fruity / Gotta, gotta, hit dat booty.” So classy, so modern; I love it.

-Some call me a hopeless romantic, but I call myself stupid. I have a terrible habit of falling madly in love with girls who couldn’t care less about me.

-After being in Happy Gilmore, I wonder how many times Bob Barker wanted to actually tell a contestant “The price is wrong, bitch!”

-I bet there is a really funny story behind the expression “Got to piss like a race horse.”

-Cheech and Chong need their own Saturday morning cartoon special.

-I need more readers! Spread the word and let your friends know about AmazinglyMundane.com through Facebook by becoming a fan of the AmazinglyMundane.com Page here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/AmazinglyMundanecom/87514425205  or by adding me as a friend on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/ldforrest

-Not to sound too needy, but I also need bodies! In my quest for finding more work as a graphic designer, I need more and more samples for my portfolio. I am currently seeking amateur models in the Houston area for portraits and staged photography! Contact me at ldforrest at hotmail dot com if you’re interested!

Never Too Late To Give A Damn

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-Trust me, I’m lying.

-Good Morning, Megan Fox, a video short following Megan Fox for a day. I didn’t realize her and I were so alike. We both enjoy tossing around in bed, then waking up and having a beer and a sandwhich by the pool before we dress all sexy and pose for Esquire Magazine. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! We’re like totally soul mates! [Video source: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/video/megan-fox-video ]

-The “Telephone Game” 2.0: Could you imagine the disasters that would be caused if text messages had to be sent to some central office where it would have to be transcribed by another person and then sent out to the person you were originally sending it too? “What do you mean you want to sleep with my mom?!?!” “No, I asked if you wanted to get tacos!”

-Where do I sign up for one of those jobs airbrushing pretty pictures on the bodies of nude models? That seems like a pretty sweet gig, wonder why my guidance counselor never mentioned that to me in high school.

-The next winning political slogan ought to be “Keep the change.”

-Finally! A grunge Barbie doll complete with tattoo stickers! [Amazon product page: http://www.amazon.com/Mattel-N4758-Totally-Stylin-Tattoos/dp/B001NXO1YE ]

-It’s a nice compliment when any average person tells you that you smell good, but it’s a whole world of difference when a cannibal tells you the same thing.

-It pays to be cheap.

-I don’t know about to the bone, but I’m definitely bad to the base of my hair follicles.

-Men don’t fluff pillows. In fact, we don’t “fluff” anything.

-The World Snail Racing Championships have been held annually for over 40 years, but only the 2007 event was cancelled due to inclement weather. You never know when you’ll need to know this kind of stuff for a television game show, so take notes if you have to.

-I wish diseases were 2,000,000 times larger, that way we could actually watch them take over towns and then get nuked into oblivion by our armed forces. I’m a sucker for good entertainment on my nightly news broadcasts.

-I bet the people who work in the toll booths on the highway wear diapers. I never see any bathrooms when I’m giving them my change.

-In the grand scheme of things, sometimes I can’t help but feel like the little pieces of rubber left over after the architect erased a huge mistake.