-My birthday wish this year will be for a fire breathing unicorn. Wish me luck!

-You know the expression “April showers bring May flowers”? Well here in Houston, Texas we’ve been behind most of April, so to meet our quota we are getting all of April’s showers in the form of 4 days of torrential downpour.

-It’s not polite to point, so I gawk instead.

-One of the reasons why you yawn is because you need to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. So when you yawn, the pressure change outside of your eardrums unbalances other people’s eardrum pressures so they must yawn also to even it out. That, ladies and gentlemen, is why yawns are contagious.

-Even if you aren’t a fan of Tool, I suggest you watch this video demonstrating the Fibonacci number sequence in Tool’s “Lateralus”. It’s very interesting and if not only pure coincidence: genius. [Video source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wS7CZIJVxFY&fmt=18 ]

-Despite how disgusting it sounds, cheese in an aerosol can was a really great idea.

-When one door is locked, hope that a window was left open. That’s the burglar’s version of the similar motto.

-Clarissa Explains It All was a good damn show. I don’t care what anyone else thinks.

-On Tuesday the Senate unanimously passed a bill that would make it a third degree felony for anyone to have sex with an animal in Florida. That’s a step forward, rest assured everyone.

-When working on our homework together, my ex asked me what the capitol of Paris was. I told her she reminds me of a lava lamp; fun to look at, but not very bright. She never let me live it down.

-The first publicized robot attack and it’s a whopping two years after the fact. A worker was performing maintenance on a robot designed to lift heavy rocks when the robot suddenly came to life then picked up and nearly chocked the worker to death. The worker managed to escape its grasp but suffered four broken ribs among other serious injuries. [Source article: http://www.thelocal.se/19120.html ]

-Pro Tip: If there is a zipper going down your butt crack your pants are probably on backwards.

-Before any night of partying, I seclude myself in a quiet room and evaluate my goals for the evening: I will not spend more than the cash I have in my wallet, I will not make a fool of myself, I will not get thrown up on, I will not throw up on others. Then I put on my tuxedo shirt and flip flops and head out on the town.