-I’m terrible at remembering faces, but I never forget a figure.

-I slept like a baby last night, or no, I slept like a rock. I don’t know, I always get rocks and babies confused.

-I think a jackhammer that made martinis would be a great idea. I’m surprised no one has capitalized on that yet.

-A yoyo with a saw blade attached to it could be an effective weapon. Granted, when it rolls back up the string to you, you’ll probably loose a couple of digits.

-In order to better promote this blog, I have a service set up that gives me very detailed stats about where my visitors are coming from. I’m already thinking that maybe it’s a little too detailed. I had two visitors who game from Google after searching for pictures of Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog who predicts our weather here in the United States on Groundhog Day. I had a few more visitors from another search site that were looking for “sexy Asian school teachers”.

-I’m not a terribly emotional guy. I haven’t cried since Bruce Willis blew himself up in Armageddon.

-At what point in your life does running off to join the circus go from being the best idea you’ve ever had to being the worse life decision you could make.

-The James Bond film, Octopussy, is quite possibly the most stereotypical movie about India ever, even more so than Aladdin. In less than a five minute span, James Bond watches a man play music for a cobra in a wicker basket, then 007 runs across a bed of hot coals, passes a guy laying on a bed of nails, ducks under a guy blowing fire and juggling flaming torches, and then pulls a sword out of a sword-eaters mouth to fight off some goons.

-Oh, and Octopussy tells James Bond that her name was her father’s pet name for her. How fucking strange is that?

-I sure could go for a nightcap.

-I had a friend in high school who had a terrible fear of water… What’s that called again? Oh yeah, drowning.

-”Insurance policies are a lot like hospital gowns – chances are your ass isn’t covered” – Bill Maher

-I do what I want so you don’t have to.